When I was a kid, we used to do that. We were an upper middle class family, with 4 kids. Not perfect, it was a dysfunctional blended family with a stepdad and half-siblings. But, we lived in the country, on a nice acreage, in a new house. It had a big front yard, and was on a deadend lane where few cars ever traveled. So we kids used to sleep out under the stars on those hot summer nights…. in sleeping bags, on the green lawn.

It was wonderful. Lying there looking up at the dark unadulterated sky, watching shooting stars among the millions and the Milky Way….and gazing into that endless universe. The country quiet, no lights in sight, the fresh cool air, the feeling of good and peace that we were awash in. Those were moments of truth as well— when you usually sleep alone in your own room every night, such rare moments count; as your sister and you are falling asleep, murmuring and musing about things you never would otherwise.

Well it has been decades since then. My siblings and I never talk. I haven’t spoken to my mom for 10 years. The dysfunction was just too unbearable over the years….. i married the wrong guy, we lived in poverty. I had 4 (living, oops, minus one….now 3 alive) children. We divorced. My kids grew up. I have 5 (living) grandchildren. My real other half, is somewhere else…. all of my kids and I, are living in poverty. I am on disability. I hurt. Arthritis and old injuries.

I now live in a HUD apartment complex. My neighbors have noisy fans and things that are absolutely vexatious, nervewracking, and hard to escape, in here…… the insulation is thin. The shade is not adequate. The yard is not emerald green (and hey it’s covered with dog sh*t anyway…)

Today and yesterday, we are having 101-103 degree temperature days. I am ok, because a few years ago i decided to prioritize and save enough to buy a small air conditioner for the bedroom window. The landlord’s stupid manager a few years ago, had allowed all the landscaping to dry out so badly, that several nice and needed shade trees had died on our apartment complex grounds. That meant my bedroom was completely, mercilessly left exposed to the full afternoon sun. I got very very ill from the heat, it even affected my heart. So it became a matter of life and death for me, to get an air conditioner in that specific window. Living on the ground floor, I am unable to leave my window open at night— for safety reasons. We have no locks that allow the window to be secure when open, like some windows do. So the heat doesn’t go away, unless i turn on the air conditioner.

The management has been bothering all of us,claiming that we cannot have air conditioners in the bedroom windows. And that, we have to take them out, and let the management’s people put them in for us. Usually costing a small fee. Well, I had already installed my hardware a few years ago, so i just put mine back in the window this year. For free. No reason not to. I figure, if they want to get on my case at this point, I’ll just say, “okay, I’ll have it out within a couple weeks”. Yeah. By September. The hot weather will be gone by then. Can you believe it? In this low-income housing HUD complex, they really want to bother us about this. They should be far more concerned about the possibility of someone dying or being hospitalized from ill effects of the high heat.They claimed that we couldn’t have air conitioners in teh bedroom window due to the fire code. So I asked my local fire marshall about it. He specifically told me, NO, there is nothing in the code that says that. And, to have the mgmt call him if need be. You see, the fire dept handles MANY more calls about people with emergencies related to heat effects- on the medical side . They don’t see people trapped in bedrooms with air conditioning units in the window— during a fire. You know, someone trying to get out the window. it just isn’t statistically probable, it is a very remote possibility– so it makes sense to let people have their air conditioners in the bedroom windows, as far as the fire dept is concerned. WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE TELL THIS TO HUD AND PROPERTY MANAGERS????? actually, i did tell the manager…..but he didn’t seem to hear. It’s the upper management. He just does what they say of course…and they do not care. I haven’t said anything to HUD yet. But i guess i’ll have to become an activist on that issue.

Today, stuck inside, albeit in the air conditioned apartment….( i know, it could be so much worse) … i was thinking, and praying: how good it would be, to live in a house with a huge green fenced backyard; in a country setting….and have my other half, my kids and grandkids, all sleep over in that backyard, on these hot summer nights….under the stars. What a beautiful, lovely feeling, and vision it was, to imagine that…

Oh Lord Jesus, please, let it be!