Tag Archive: family
When I was a kid, we used to do that. We were an upper middle class family, with 4 kids. Not perfect, it was a dysfunctional blended family with a stepdad and half-siblings. But, we lived in the country, on a nice acreage, in a new house. It had a big front yard, and was on a deadend lane where few cars ever traveled. So we kids used to sleep out under the stars on those hot summer nights…. in sleeping bags, on the green lawn.
It was wonderful. Lying there looking up at the dark unadulterated sky, watching shooting stars among the millions and the Milky Way….and gazing into that endless universe. The country quiet, no lights in sight, the fresh cool air, the feeling of good and peace that we were awash in. Those were moments of truth as well— when you usually sleep alone in your own room every night, such rare moments count; as your sister and you are falling asleep, murmuring and musing about things you never would otherwise.
Well it has been decades since then. My siblings and I never talk. I haven’t spoken to my mom for 10 years. The dysfunction was just too unbearable over the years….. i married the wrong guy, we lived in poverty. I had 4 (living, oops, minus one….now 3 alive) children. We divorced. My kids grew up. I have 5 (living) grandchildren. My real other half, is somewhere else…. all of my kids and I, are living in poverty. I am on disability. I hurt. Arthritis and old injuries.
I now live in a HUD apartment complex. My neighbors have noisy fans and things that are absolutely vexatious, nervewracking, and hard to escape, in here…… the insulation is thin. The shade is not adequate. The yard is not emerald green (and hey it’s covered with dog sh*t anyway…)
Today and yesterday, we are having 101-103 degree temperature days. I am ok, because a few years ago i decided to prioritize and save enough to buy a small air conditioner for the bedroom window. The landlord’s stupid manager a few years ago, had allowed all the landscaping to dry out so badly, that several nice and needed shade trees had died on our apartment complex grounds. That meant my bedroom was completely, mercilessly left exposed to the full afternoon sun. I got very very ill from the heat, it even affected my heart. So it became a matter of life and death for me, to get an air conditioner in that specific window. Living on the ground floor, I am unable to leave my window open at night— for safety reasons. We have no locks that allow the window to be secure when open, like some windows do. So the heat doesn’t go away, unless i turn on the air conditioner.
The management has been bothering all of us,claiming that we cannot have air conditioners in the bedroom windows. And that, we have to take them out, and let the management’s people put them in for us. Usually costing a small fee. Well, I had already installed my hardware a few years ago, so i just put mine back in the window this year. For free. No reason not to. I figure, if they want to get on my case at this point, I’ll just say, “okay, I’ll have it out within a couple weeks”. Yeah. By September. The hot weather will be gone by then. Can you believe it? In this low-income housing HUD complex, they really want to bother us about this. They should be far more concerned about the possibility of someone dying or being hospitalized from ill effects of the high heat.They claimed that we couldn’t have air conitioners in teh bedroom window due to the fire code. So I asked my local fire marshall about it. He specifically told me, NO, there is nothing in the code that says that. And, to have the mgmt call him if need be. You see, the fire dept handles MANY more calls about people with emergencies related to heat effects- on the medical side . They don’t see people trapped in bedrooms with air conditioning units in the window— during a fire. You know, someone trying to get out the window. it just isn’t statistically probable, it is a very remote possibility– so it makes sense to let people have their air conditioners in the bedroom windows, as far as the fire dept is concerned. WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE TELL THIS TO HUD AND PROPERTY MANAGERS????? actually, i did tell the manager…..but he didn’t seem to hear. It’s the upper management. He just does what they say of course…and they do not care. I haven’t said anything to HUD yet. But i guess i’ll have to become an activist on that issue.
Today, stuck inside, albeit in the air conditioned apartment….( i know, it could be so much worse) … i was thinking, and praying: how good it would be, to live in a house with a huge green fenced backyard; in a country setting….and have my other half, my kids and grandkids, all sleep over in that backyard, on these hot summer nights….under the stars. What a beautiful, lovely feeling, and vision it was, to imagine that…
Oh Lord Jesus, please, let it be!
OH, YES. IT DOES SPELL DEATH. With the help of government and society who look the other way, and have slid into a current state of uncaring status quo on the subject. I know whereof I speak.
My daughter died recently, an incapacitated disabled adult in a guardianship. The guardian was not one of her family members. She died young, less than 30 years of age.
How did poverty spell death for her?
The legal system is based on money, and whoever can pay, will get the upper hand. Pay? yes, pay attorneys, who know how to navigate the system, and say the magic words, to open all the doors, of the den of thieves’ huge cavernous underground complex. Oh? yes, it’s kinda like, the System, Gulag, whatever.
And it just so happened, I was too intimidated by the past mistreatment i had experienced by the system, to stand up alone and represent myself, to take her away from this guardian. It just seemed too hard, I surely did not know how to do it. And time ran out, before I could do anything else to save her.
When I first saw Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, I was amazed at how much it truly contained mystical references to my daughter’s situation, down to having the same names, and all such things. And a sewage system maze that is ruled by a snake (devil), and a girl lying injured about to die…..
Only i, the hairy potter-ess, did not get her safe. She really did die. The snake in the system won.
The system made sure of her early death.
She died of a treatable chronic disease, that the medical establishment has trouble treating; but alternative and nutritive therapies work better with.
The guardian was obsessed with her, and threatened me, intimidated and cut off all visits and communications from me, for years. I have plenty of knowledge that I use always, about her specific types of health ailments, that are controllable / healable / preventable with good home health care based on good common sense, nutrition, and other therapies that work. I could have at least shared this information, but this guardian would have none of it. It was a very scarey situation, but no one would take my case (edit 8-15-08: the attorneys all wanted something like $5000 retainers, which i could not personally scare up even with credit).
At times I had to report problems to the authorities, and they did intervene a couple of times. But the adult protective services and caseworkers could not legally talk to me about my own daughter, yeah, that’s right: “confidentiality”. Supposed to protect people, but it is a very stupid setup that ends up harming plenty of people when their families don’t even get to find out what the victim needs us to know.
And they did not intervene enough to save her, obviously.
IF I HAD HAD THE MONEY TO PAY ATTORNEYS UP-FRONT, RETAINER MONEY, I could have gotten my daughter back.
First, she was stolen from me by her seriously abusive CONVICTED, INSTITUTIONALIZED, VIOLENT, DRUG ADDICT father , so that he would not have to pay child support; and he as much as stated, that he was after the SSI benefits that he applied for, in her name.
I did try two different free/ low-income organizations for legal help, but they both sold me out, rather malfeasibly; and sold my kids down the drain. I HAVE NO DOUBT THAT THIS WAS ATTORNEY MALPRACTICE. (but i did not know this concept til much later). After he stole them from me, when i was their only nurturer, he got to keep them, and abuse and neglect them, with the blessing of this evil corrupt system in this state (Oregon). This all started in the early 1980′s but as we can see, the effects have lasted til now, and are ongoing for my daughters.
Very long story, i am giving you a tiny little nutshell to make my point.
So the sold-out money- hungry legal system repeatedly failed my kids including the one who died. They grew up very damaged. Their lives have been in serious disorder ever since. Their relationship with me, the loving nurturing and intelligent parent, was completely alienated by the abusive parent—very typical scenario. Abusers do this to kids when they get custody.
Then the medical system, another sold-out- money- mongering scene…. failed my daughter. Because someone without a brain (the idiot jerk guardian, NOT my DD daughter!) , relied on it too heavily, minus any personal knowledge of good home care. Whereas she would have gotten the full smart mommy who does research, full good treatment from me at my home. She did not get the benefit of it.
i won’t even go into other aspects of abuse and neglect that occurred at the guardian’s home. Those were not so provable but why leave her there when there is so much probability?
So she died of an infection, and a whole system set up to kill the poverty-stricken. RIGHT HERE IN THE USA. It happens every day.
